Going through a separation or a divorce is often one of the most emotional and difficult times in our lives. You may be feeling confusion, despair, anger, or possibly even relief, depending on the circumstances of the separation. It is normal to go through a rollercoaster of different emotions, as going through a separation can drastically change your life.
Not only must you accept the loss of your partner after a separation, you may also lose common friendship groups, relationships with your ex-partner’s family members, there may be financial loss involved, or loss of routine and dreams about the future.
Individuals who have just experienced a separation may have trouble sleeping, a loss of appetite, or withdrawal from everyday life. These side effects are common when a separation is fresh, and they will begin to fade in time. Eventually, a new normal will exist where you can feel at peace with your life post-separation.
This article will explore the top tips to help you move on after a separation.
Forgive yourself & let go of regrets
You may believe that it is your fault your relationship ended, in which case you may be torturing yourself and wondering how you could have acted differently to save the relationship. This is an unhealthy way of thinking. Forgive yourself for any mistakes made during the relationship, because each decision has led you to where you are now, and you are right where you need to be.
Focus on the present
The separation happened for a reason, and instead of thinking about the past, you can take the lessons learnt from that relationship and apply them to future situations. This way, you are thinking of the positives, rather than the negatives. The past cannot be changed, so you shouldn’t dwell on it. Instead, focus on the present and the future and how you can be the best version of yourself.
Lean on others for support
Think of your friends, family, colleagues that surround you. Think of those people who are there for you right now, and how you can lean on them for support. Even if it’s only one person, having a solid support system is a great way to work through your feelings with others who understand and want the best for you.
Remember why the relationship ended
Often after separations it can be easy to only remember the good times, and romanticise the experience of being in a relationship. You may have feelings of longing for your ex-partner, and the fear of being alone may creep back in. it is important to view your relationship as a whole, for both the good and bad parts. Both parties in a relationship have faults, so you should acknowledge that the separation may be the best thing for you in the long run.
Don’t look back on your relationship as a waste of time
Each time you experience a separation, you will take away key lessons. For this reason alone, your relationship was not a waste of time. Think of the fun experiences you encountered during your relationship, you may have broadened your horizons and gained critical life experiences. There are positives you can take away from the separation, such as achieving a sense of self growth and critical reflection.
If you have just gone through a separation and you are looking for guidance, No Lawyers’ Family Law Resources can help you make well informed decisions that make the most of your current situation and positively benefit your future.